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Q. Why do men want to marry
virgins?
A. They can't stand criticism.
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Q. What's the fastest way to a
man's heart?
A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.
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Q. What are two reasons why men
don't mind their own business?
A. 1. No mind. 2. No business.
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Q. Why do men name their
penises?
A. Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes
all their decisions.
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Q. Why is it so
hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A. Because those men already have boyfriends.
1. If you think the way to a man's
heart is through his stomach you're aiming too high.
2. If you want a nice man go for a
bald one - they try harder.
3. Go for younger men. You might
as well - they never mature anyway.
4. A man who can dress himself
without looking like Wurzel Gummidge is unquestionably gay.
5. Whenever you meet a man who
would make a good husband, you will usually find that he already is.
6. There are only two four letter
words that are offensive to men - "don't" and "stop".
7. Men are like department
stores.... their clothes should always be half off.
8. Men are like vacations.... they
never seem to be long enough.
9. Men are like computers... hard to
figure out and never have enough memory.
10. Men are like coolers... load
them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
11. Men are like chocolate bars....
sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
12. Men are like coffee.... the best
ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
13. Men are like horoscopes.... they
always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
14. Men are like computers... they
crash at the critical time and need to be rebooted regularly.
15. Men are like cement.... after
getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.
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How can you tell soap operas are
fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
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Why don't men have mid-life
crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.
How is being at a singles bar
different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clown don't talk.
What makes men chase women they
have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time
Why do men find it difficult to
make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes.
Why are blonde jokes so
short? So men can remember them.
