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list of businesses to assist with receptions at private premises
Planning a large, formal
wedding at home or at a friends is somewhat more complicated than planning the
same event at, say, a reception venue. Unless the backyard is attached to a
mansion, you probably don't have the bathroom or parking facilities for a
crowd. You also will almost certainly have to rent items that usually come
with a wedding site, like tables, chairs, and eating utensils. And then
there's the question of rain or hot weather, which is usually answered by
renting a tent. A large, formal backyard wedding is not for couples who want
to avoid stress, unless they have a lot of help.
A small, informal backyard wedding, on the other hand, is manageable by almost
any couple that is willing to think things through thoroughly. Let's take some
of the planning issues one-by-one.
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Thornton Richards Photography
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Guest List
Write out a preliminary guest list, including the people that the parents will
want to invite, before making a firm decision on a backyard wedding. Now look
at the size of the house and backyard. If it rained, could you fit the whole
guest list into your living room or family room? If it doesn't rain, can you
fit the whole guest list into the yard?
One thing to think about, in estimating space, is where guests are going to
sit. Many people are not comfortable standing for long periods, so you
definitely want enough chairs to allow a minimum of half the guests to be
seated at any time. If you have to rent folding chairs, ask the party rental
company how much space each seat should be allowed, including leg room for the
person sitting in it. Compare this figure to the size of your backyard.
Food and Drink
A backyard wedding makes it easier to do your own catering, if you have a big
refrigerator, a big kitchen (as a staging and preparation area), and plans for
a very simple buffet that doesn't require keeping food hot or cold. It's also
useful to have some helpful friends or relatives, as the bride probably does
not want to try to refill the punch bowl while wearing her wedding gown. If
you self-cater the wedding, it's probably simplest to treat it almost like a
picnic, using sturdy paper plates and disposable utensils.
You can also hire a caterer. Make sure you discuss, before signing the
contract, what kind of space and resources the caterer will need, as well as
whether plates and utensils are included in the cost. You may want to look
into whether any small restaurants locally cater parties, as their menus often
work very well with a casual mood.
Music
If you go the "toss some CDs in the CD player" route, make sure you
have a responsible friend who will keep the music going. If, instead, you hire
musicians, again, ask about how much space they need. And if the musicians
will need electricity for amplifiers or other equipment, definitely ask how
much power is required and whether any sort of special outlet is needed. You
don't want your house to blow a fuse as soon as the music starts, and with
older houses, that's a real possibility. (You also don't want miles of
extension cord all over your yard, as people will trip over it.)
However you handle music, think about the effect on your neighbors. The one
day a year that you decide to play loud music will be the day that one of your
neighbors is trying to nap off a migraine. If a pretty lively atmosphere is
important to you, you'd be much better off with a reception site that has
walls.
Parking
Another cause of neighborly feuds is wedding guests who park in, or in front
of, other peoples' driveways. Look for a local school, church, or business
that will allow you to borrow their parking lot for the day. Do get
permission, as some church staff are quick to call the tow trucks.
Attire
If the celebration is relatively informal, it's most traditional and accepted
for the wedding party to dress more simply than they would for a formal
wedding.
The bride wears a fairly plain gown with no train or a very short train, or
even a knee-length dress. Her veil is also relatively short and plain, or she
can choose to wear a hat, flowers, or simply a pretty hairstyle instead. Her
attendants wear dresses no longer than the current fashion for daytime wear.
(The rule used to be "knee length," but where I live, ordinary
daytime skirts now skim the ankles, and it's no kindness to make the
bridesmaids feel clunky and unfashionable.)
The men in the wedding party where suits, or blazers and khakis, rather than
the "formal" options of a morning suit (daytime) or a tuxedo
(evening).
Of course, you can choose to have an even less formal wedding. But if you do,
make sure that your invitations are not very traditional and formal, as it's
awkward for everyone when guests show up more elaborately dressed than the
bride. For a very casual wedding, it is customary to invite people by writing
a letter or by phoning them.
Ceremony Logistics
The more work you're doing yourselves, the more merit there is to dropping the
tradition of keeping the bride and groom separate before the wedding. . .
unless the house is huge, there's no practical way to avoid seeing each other.
There are also practical things that must be done somewhere, though not
necessarily in the house. These include:
- Where will the bride and
groom dress?
- Where will the attendants
dress?
- If the bride and her
attendants have hair or make-up appointments, where will this work be
done?
- Where will the bride be
immediately before the ceremony? (She can come out and help greet guests,
but if she doesn't wish to, she needs somewhere to hide.)
- Where can you station
someone to make sure that people who get corsages, boutonnieres, and
bouquets all pick up their floral tributes?
- Where will the wedding party
assemble for their grand entrance at the beginning of the ceremony? (Or do
you prefer to just have everyone gather around when the time comes, with
no processional?)
- How will the musicians know
when it's time to play the processional or other music?
- Where will the wedding party
stand for the ceremony?
- How long before the
reception will you have to set out the food?
- How will you handle photos
before the ceremony, if any, if you're also setting up for the wedding?
All of these questions must be
answered no matter where you have your wedding, but when you go a site that
does lots of weddings, there is often someone to help you with the answers.
When you hold a wedding at home, you have to work it out for yourself. As you
hire vendors (if you do), take advantage of their expertise by asking lots of
questions about how their work will happen in your space. If you do most
things yourself, do some research on each task (for instance, find out how to
"condition" flowers so they last before getting started on making
bouquets, so you know you'll have the space, equipment, and time).
